Learning Things the Hard Way
I'm going to keep this short because I'm extra tired today and I have stuff to study for (I just got my acceptance letter for the graduate program at the UML Manning School of Business so I feel like I should probably try to finish out the semester on a good note!) Today is the third day of my 5 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge, and today I'm grateful for the two plus years that we have been waiting to become parents, and all of the difficult things that we've endured in that time.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had woken up pregnant the day after our wedding. What if none of this had ever happened? I'm sure that I would be learning a lot from being a mom to a one and a half year old right now, but it amazes me to think about all of the things I wouldn't know, or the things I would have taken for granted. Seeing a positive pregnancy test might not have felt like I just struck gold. I know I would have felt a lot more rushed and nervous about being ready.
But after two years of negative tests and a horrible loss, I know beyond a doubt that we will be ready to be parents when God decides that He's ready to give us children. When we do finally have a baby in this house, we will be much better parents because of the time that we spent as an infertile couple. We will certainly have hard days (and nights), but I can imagine that we will cherish every moment all the more because of how long we have waited and how much we have prayed for our miracle.
Not only will this experience make us better parents, but I believe that it has made us better people as a whole. I am thankful for these years because God gave us (me, especially) the opportunity to learn things the hard way. I could have told myself day in and day out that I needed to work on being more patient, but it would have never gotten me anywhere. It's a funny thing; in order to learn to be patient, you actually have to wait for something. I think God answered my prayers for more patience by giving me this time to learn the lesson that I'd been trying to teach myself for my entire life.
God used these years to cultivate real friendships, to give me the opportunity to write about something raw and difficult, and to grow Phil and me in our marriage and in our faith. I can honestly say that because of these hard times my faith and love for the Lord has increased tenfold. It's crazy to think about, but it's true: out of the worst suffering we have ever experienced came the most incredible blessings.
Phil and I like to imagine that the children we will have someday are going to be so important to God's plan that He is using this time to prepare us to be the best parents that we can be. Maybe we weren't ready before because we were so spiritually immature. God needed to spend some time testing our faith so that when we do have children they will be able to see that our faith is not superficial and conditional, but pure, like gold refined in fire.
Today, I am grateful for the blessings that have been born of pain. God can--and does--use anything and everything for the good of those who love Him.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had woken up pregnant the day after our wedding. What if none of this had ever happened? I'm sure that I would be learning a lot from being a mom to a one and a half year old right now, but it amazes me to think about all of the things I wouldn't know, or the things I would have taken for granted. Seeing a positive pregnancy test might not have felt like I just struck gold. I know I would have felt a lot more rushed and nervous about being ready.
But after two years of negative tests and a horrible loss, I know beyond a doubt that we will be ready to be parents when God decides that He's ready to give us children. When we do finally have a baby in this house, we will be much better parents because of the time that we spent as an infertile couple. We will certainly have hard days (and nights), but I can imagine that we will cherish every moment all the more because of how long we have waited and how much we have prayed for our miracle.
Not only will this experience make us better parents, but I believe that it has made us better people as a whole. I am thankful for these years because God gave us (me, especially) the opportunity to learn things the hard way. I could have told myself day in and day out that I needed to work on being more patient, but it would have never gotten me anywhere. It's a funny thing; in order to learn to be patient, you actually have to wait for something. I think God answered my prayers for more patience by giving me this time to learn the lesson that I'd been trying to teach myself for my entire life.
God used these years to cultivate real friendships, to give me the opportunity to write about something raw and difficult, and to grow Phil and me in our marriage and in our faith. I can honestly say that because of these hard times my faith and love for the Lord has increased tenfold. It's crazy to think about, but it's true: out of the worst suffering we have ever experienced came the most incredible blessings.
Phil and I like to imagine that the children we will have someday are going to be so important to God's plan that He is using this time to prepare us to be the best parents that we can be. Maybe we weren't ready before because we were so spiritually immature. God needed to spend some time testing our faith so that when we do have children they will be able to see that our faith is not superficial and conditional, but pure, like gold refined in fire.
Today, I am grateful for the blessings that have been born of pain. God can--and does--use anything and everything for the good of those who love Him.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
I deleted my previous post because at the end of it i put hearts and kisses, but instead of hearts and kisses it posted question marks. Phooey!
ReplyDeleteMy original reply:
Amen! Amen! (smiley face, hearts & kisses!) we love you!!!!